Is it easier to forgive than to forget?

Every single one of us has experienced hard times in life. Every single one was hurt by some one else. For some it is easy to let go and keep living. Others cannot forget. Some memories and some pain are buried too deeply into their souls, that it is impossible to put an end to it and look into the future without a heavy heart. But isn’t it better to let things go?

Mahatma Gandhi said:

“The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

It’s certainly true that forgiving others is beneficial to the self, as the author of a new study on the subject, Saima Noreen (Noreen et al., Journal Psychological Science, 2014), explains. She could show, that the ability to forgive others can have positive benefits for an individual’s physical and mental health. The ability to forget upsetting memories may provide an effective coping strategy that enables people to move on with their lives.

The question is whether forgiving really does lead to forgetting. Noreen and colleagues discovered in their study, that people, who are able to forgive wrongdoings, remember the details of those not as well – just after a few days. In contrast, when people had not forgiven the wrongdoer, they could not forget the scenario in which their feelings have been hurt. These results suggest that – as the common saying has it – forgiveness may well lead to forgetting.

Forgiveness is considered to play a key role in the maintenance of social relationships, the avoidance of unnecessary conflict, and the ability to move forward with one’s life. Instead to ruminate on the past, people can focus on the future. And this approach to life creates happiness and wellbeing in the long-term. Cause one cannot change the past anyways.