Do you talk to yourself sometimes? Do you have nice discussions for half an hour – just with yourself? Many people think that self-talk is a bit weird. It can be a very good thing for you or a very bad thing – depending on how you talk to yourself. But what is talking to yourself good for?
1. An issue in the future
Many of us talk to ourselves when we want to prepare for an upcoming situation that we experience as challenging, for example asking your boss for a raise. A role play in your head is good to prepare for different scenarios and how to act in each situation. It helps you to feel more confident in the situation and to develop a strategy. In therapeutic group sessions this method is used a lot to increase people’s confidence to handle a hard situation and is neither bad nor crazy.
2. An issue in the past
So you really didn’t perform well. You could have been smarter, funnier, more eloquent… There is an endless list of possibilities of how to behave and you picked the wrong one. And later on when your mind is calmer you have many better ideas about how to act or what to say. So self-talk is actually a good way to deal with the past and to prepare for similar situations in the future. But don’t beat yourself up! Everybody performs bad from time to time.
If you have an issue that needs to be handled in the mind first, you can profit a lot from a discussion with yourself. Let’s say you are dealing with life prospect. How do you wanna live your life? What is important for you? Is this really the right way? Those are things that you can discuss with yourself, because you (can get to) know yourself when you ask yourself fundamental questions. Put on a coat, take a late night stroll and think/talk about it. You will be surprised, how much talking out loud and fresh air will help you to put some clarity into your mind.
4. Everyday pestering
So here it get’s a bit dangerous. Everyday pesterings are the small messages, that your brain sends to you every day. And these messages can be harmful. “You’ve been late again! Can’t you be punctual at least ones in your life?” or “You haven’t had a relationship in 2 years. You’ll live alone forever!” It is very important to realize how you talk to yourself. Because eventually you may believe these messages. You can change the undertone of monologue. Be nice to yourself! And then self-talk can be productive and helpful!